Robert Kirby is one of my favorite columnists. This appeared in the Salt Lake Tribune, and I THINK IT WOULD HAVE BEEN APPLICABLE TO WHOEVER WON!
Dear Mr. President:
Congratulations on your victory at the polls. You are now the leader of the free world whether anybody likes it or not. Frankly, I give you about a week to figure out that you don't.
As a participant in the process that put you in office, I am writing to offer you the benefit of the common man's advice. Men don't come more common than me. Ask my wife.
First, please do not let the victory go to your head. You aren't smart as you think you are. In fact, you aren't even as smart as your supporters claim. We're all going to find that out in the next four years, so there's no point in pretending otherwise.
It doesn't take a genius to be president. I offer as proof any number of dolts we have elected to the country's highest office. So please remember that the trust we've placed in you isn't necessarily a compliment.
The truth is that most Americans could do your job. They could even be good presidents if they remembered to keep things simple. And that's what I'm writing to you about now.
Most Americans know what needs to be done. We learned it growing up, or at least those of us with decent parents did. Presumably, that includes you. Here's what my parents taught me that would also work in the White House.
ENVIRONMENT -- If you make a mess, you have to clean it up. It doesn't matter how long ago you made the mess, or who else helped, you still have to clean it up--even if it takes all day.
FOREIGN POLICY -- You are not the most important person in the world. If you think you are, you need to be taken down a notch or two.
EDUCATION -- Stupidity will always cost more than tuition.
NATIONAL DEFENSE -- Bullies always have to look over their shoulders. Be strong but don't pick on your sisters, or your father will kick your ass when he gets home.
CRIME -- A punishment equal to or worse than the deed is the most effective way of remembering not to do it again.
ECONOMY -- If you want something, go earn the money for it. If you borrow more than you can repay, you deserve to have your thumbs broke.
HEALTH CARE -- Eat right, work hard, don't smoke, brush your teeth, wear your seat belt, and look both ways before crossing the street. If it's not your fault, we'll help you pay to fix it.
There's more, but I think you get the point. Our problems aren't that complicated. Your presidency shouldn't be either.
Best of luck
Robert Kirby
Salt Lake Tribune
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