People That Amuse Me
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A short story!11 years ago
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Fun in Wyoming12 years ago
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Squeeze and Release12 years ago
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Bustin' a Move12 years ago
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Four months later13 years ago
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Happy New Year!
As the sun sets on 2008, I wanted to take a moment and reflect on things a bit. Overall it has been a memorable year.Mike left on his mission to Calgary, Alberta, Canada, leaving Liz and I alone for the first time in years. IT'S BEEN GREAT! We have quiet dinners alone, and have talked more than we have in years. I am not sure why people have trouble being "empty nesters", unless they just don't like their own company.
Erin went back to school, to chase that accounting degree that eluded her at USU. She got her first grades the other day -- a 3.92 GPA! I knew she had it in her! If I wore shirts with buttons, they'd be popping right now. Check out her blog "rinMo's ritmo".
Rob is in his final year of pharmacy school. He's been able to do some very interesting internships this year, including being involved with rewriting the Idaho state pharmacy statutes. That will look good on a resume. His blog is is "Rob's Blog" -- catchy title, eh?
I certainly can't leave out the latest addition to our family, Taylsie Espin Morris (thats Dennis' way of covering that she was actually named after ESPN, the sports channel). As Erin says, "What did we do for entertainment at family gatherings before she came along?" She is definitely the center of attention these days. There are pictures galore posted at "MORRIS FAMILY" blog.
I'm looking forward to the new year. I'm not going to ruin it by making any resolutions that I have no intention of keeping. In another 6-8 months I should be done with school, and back in the work force. It's been fun learning all of the things I didn't quite know about computers, and now I am an officially certified techy kind of guy. They even let me use the "official" logo, so I posted it at the bottom of my blog, for those of you that don't venture that far down the page. I will also be working on network and webmaster certifications in the coming months. Those are goals, not resolutions!
Here's wishing you all a very happy new year, and may it not be as financially bleak as we're all afraid it will be!
The Exploding Whale of 1970
"What are you doing here?": man asks wife at brothel
Wed Jan 9, 2008 10:23am EST
WARSAW (Reuters) - A Polish man got the shock of his life when he visited a brothel and spotted his wife among the establishment's employees.
Polish tabloid Super Express said the woman had been making some extra money on the side while telling her husband she worked at a store in a nearby town.
"I was dumfounded. I thought I was dreaming," the husband told the newspaper on Wednesday.
The couple, married for 14 years, are now divorcing, the newspaper reported.
(Writing by Chris Borowski, Editing by Matthew Jones)
That's certainly not the best journalistic writing I've seen lately, but it is an interesting story. Is Hubby divorcing Wifey because he found out that she was working at the brothel, or is Wifey divorcing Hubby because she caught him visiting the brothel? Hmmm... or was it that they didn't trust each other any more?
Escalators don't break, they just become stairs.
The purpose of this blog is to celebrate the crazy things said by all of my favorite codgers and kermudgeons, of which I am quickly becoming one. I used to just be an old FART(that's a Father Against Radical Teenagers for those of you who don't know.), and older than dirt(my dad said that dirt is only 47 years old, so once you're 48 then you're older than dirt!), but now I'm heading downhill fast, and this blog is the only fun I have anymore, so I better take advantage of it.
When I was in my mid twenties, I managed a store for Edison Brothers Shoe Stores in Las Vegas, called The Wild Pair. It was a fun job, and I enjoyed it so much that I became a true workaholic. 60-70 hours almost every week. One of the interesting things about Las vegas in the early 1980's is that older people were getting into wanting to dress like young people. I had this one old guy that came in all the time that had to be in his eighties, and dressed like he was going to a disco all the time. Whenever young, hot looking babes would come in the store, he would act like he had alzheimers, and come on to them and flirt with them. The amusing part was that he would look at me and wink, so I knew it was just an act, but the girls thought he was just cute and harmless, and going senile. I decided that I wanted to be just like him when I got old. But in our age of political correctness, and just too dang many perverts in the world, an older guy can't even smile and say hello to a young woman walking by, let alone compliment her on how nice she looks, without her wondering what his motives are. It;s hard to be nice to each other, let alone having any harmless fun. Oh well, I'll just have to amuse myself. Like a broken escalator, I'm not useless, just not as mobile as everyone else would like me to be!
This Woman Understands the 2nd Amendment!
Text of S. 2433: Global Poverty Act of 2007
This version: Reported in Senate. This is the text of the bill after coming out of committee in the Senate. This is the latest version of the bill available on this website. S 2433 RS Calendar No. 718 110th CONGRESS 2d Session S. 2433 [Report No. 110-331] To require the President to develop and implement a comprehensive strategy to further the United States foreign policy objective of promoting the reduction of global poverty, the elimination of extreme global poverty, and the achievement of the Millennium Development Goal of reducing by one-half the proportion of people worldwide, between 1990 and 2015, who live on less than $1 per day. IN THE SENATE OF THE UNITED STATES December 7, 2007 Mr. OBAMA (for himself, Mr. HAGEL, Ms. CANTWELL, Mrs. FEINSTEIN, Mr. LUGAR, Mr. DURBIN, Mr. MENENDEZ, Mr. BIDEN, Mr. DODD, Mr. FEINGOLD, Ms. SNOWE, Mrs. MURRAY, Mr. HARKIN, Mr. JOHNSON, Mr. SMITH, and Mr. KERRY) introduced the following bill; which was read twice and referred to the Committee on Foreign Relations April 24, 2008 Reported by Mr. BIDEN, with amendments and an amendment to the title [Omit the part struck through and insert the part printed in italic] A BILL To require the President to develop and implement a comprehensive strategy to further the United States foreign policy objective of promoting the reduction of global poverty, the elimination of extreme global poverty, and the achievement of the Millennium Development Goal of reducing by one-half the proportion of people worldwide, between 1990 and 2015, who live on less than $1 per day. Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled, SECTION 1. SHORT TITLE. This Act may be cited as the `Global Poverty Act of 2007'. SEC. 2. FINDINGS. Congress makes the following findings: (1) More than 1,000,000,000 people worldwide live on less than $1 per day, and another 1,600,000,000 people struggle to survive on less than $2 per day, according to the World Bank. (2) At the United Nations Millennium Summit in 2000, the United States joined more than 180 other countries in committing to work toward goals to improve life for the world's poorest people by 2015. (3) The year 2007 marks the mid-point to the Millennium Development Goals deadline of 2015. (4) The [Struck out->] (5) On March 22, 2002, President George W. [Struck out->] (6) The 2002 National Security Strategy of the United States notes: `[A] world where some live in comfort and plenty, while half of the human race lives on less than $2 per day, is neither just nor stable. Including all of the world's poor in an expanding circle of development and opportunity is a moral imperative and one of the top priorities of U.S. international policy.'. (7) The 2006 National Security Strategy of the United States notes: `America's national interests and moral values drive us in the same direction: to assist the world's poor citizens and least developed nations and help integrate them into the global economy.'. (8) The bipartisan Final Report of the National Commission on Terrorist Attacks Upon the United States released in 2004 recommends: `A comprehensive United States strategy to counter terrorism should include economic policies that encourage development, more open societies, and opportunities for people to improve the lives of their families and enhance prospects for their children.'. (9) At the summit of the Group of Eight (G-8) nations in July 2005, leaders from all eight participating countries committed to increase aid to Africa from the current $25,000,000,000 annually to $50,000,000,000 by 2010, and to cancel 100 percent of the debt obligations owed to the World Bank, African Development Bank, and International Monetary Fund by 18 of the world's poorest nations. (10) At the United Nations World Summit in September 2005, the United States joined more than 180 other governments in reiterating their commitment to achieve the [Struck out->] (11) The United States has recognized the need for increased financial and technical assistance to countries burdened by extreme poverty, as well as the need for strengthened economic and trade opportunities for those countries, through significant initiatives in recent years, including the Millennium Challenge Act of 2003 (22 U.S.C. 7701 et seq.), the United States Leadership Against HIV/AIDS, Tuberculosis, and Malaria Act of 2003 (22 U.S.C. 7601 et seq.), the Heavily Indebted Poor Countries Initiative, and trade preference programs for developing countries, such as the African Growth and Opportunity Act (19 U.S.C. 3701 et seq.). [Struck out->] [Struck out->] [Struck out->] SEC. 3. DECLARATION OF POLICY. It is the policy of the United States to promote the reduction of global poverty, the elimination of extreme global poverty, and the achievement of the Millennium Development Goal of reducing by one-half the proportion of people [Struck out->] SEC. 4. REQUIREMENT TO DEVELOP COMPREHENSIVE STRATEGY. (a) Strategy- The President, acting through the Secretary of State, and in consultation with the heads of other appropriate departments and agencies of the United States Government, international organizations, international financial institutions, the governments of developing and developed countries, United States and international nongovernmental organizations, civil society organizations, and other appropriate entities, shall develop and implement a comprehensive strategy to further the United States foreign policy objective of promoting the reduction of global poverty, the elimination of extreme global poverty, and the achievement of the Millennium Development Goal of reducing by one-half the proportion of people [Struck out->] (b) Content- The strategy required by subsection (a) shall include specific and measurable goals, efforts to be undertaken, benchmarks, and timetables to achieve the objectives described in subsection (a). (c) Components- The strategy required by subsection (a) should include the following components: (1) Continued investment or involvement in existing United States initiatives related to international poverty reduction, such as the United States Leadership Against HIV/AIDS, Tuberculosis, and Malaria Act of 2003 (22 U.S.C. 7601 et seq.), the Millennium Challenge Act of 2003 (22 U.S.C. 7701 et seq.), and trade preference programs for developing countries, such as the African Growth and Opportunity Act (19 U.S.C. 3701 et seq.). (2) Improving the effectiveness of development assistance and making available additional overall United States assistance levels as appropriate. (3) Enhancing and expanding debt relief as appropriate. (4) Leveraging United States trade policy where possible to enhance economic development prospects for developing countries. (5) Coordinating efforts and working in cooperation with developed and developing countries, international organizations, and international financial institutions. (6) Mobilizing and leveraging the participation of businesses, United States and international nongovernmental organizations, civil society, and public-private partnerships. (7) Coordinating the goal of poverty reduction [Struck out->] (8) Integrating principles of sustainable development and entrepreneurship into policies and programs. (d) Reports- (1) INITIAL REPORT- (A) IN GENERAL- Not later than 1 year after the date of the enactment of this Act, the President, acting through the Secretary of State, shall submit to the appropriate congressional committees a report on the strategy required under subsection (a). (B) CONTENT- The report required under subparagraph (A) shall include the following elements: (i) A description of the strategy required under subsection (a). (ii) An evaluation, to the extent possible, both proportionate and absolute, of the contributions provided by the United States and other national and international actors in achieving the Millennium Development Goal of reducing by one-half the proportion of people worldwide, between 1990 and 2015, who live on less than $1 per day. (iii) An assessment of the overall progress toward achieving the Millennium Development Goal of reducing by one-half the proportion of people worldwide, between 1990 and 2015, who live on less than $1 per day. (2) SUBSEQUENT REPORTS- Not later than December 31, 2012, and December 31, 2015, the President shall submit to the appropriate congressional committees reports on the status of the implementation of the strategy, progress made in achieving the global poverty reduction objectives described in subsection (a), and any changes to the strategy since the date of the submission of the last report. (e) Coordinator- The Secretary of State shall designate a coordinator who will have primary responsibility for overseeing and drafting the initial report under paragraph (1) of subsection (d) and subsequent reports under paragraph (2) of such subsection, in coordination with relevant Federal agencies, as well as responsibility for helping to implement recommendations contained in the reports. SEC. 5. DEFINITIONS. In this Act: (1) APPROPRIATE CONGRESSIONAL COMMITTEES- The term `appropriate congressional committees' means-- (A) the Committee on Foreign Relations and the Committee on Appropriations of the Senate; and (B) the Committee on Foreign Affairs and the Committee on Appropriations of the House of Representatives. (2) EXTREME GLOBAL POVERTY- The term `extreme global poverty' refers to the conditions in which individuals live on less than $1 per day, adjusted for purchasing power parity in 1993 United States dollars, according to World Bank statistics. (3) GLOBAL POVERTY- The term `global poverty' refers to the conditions in which individuals live on less than $2 per day, adjusted for purchasing power parity in 1993 United States dollars, according to World Bank statistics. (4) MILLENNIUM DEVELOPMENT GOALS- The term `Millennium Development Goals' means the goals set out in the United Nations Millennium Declaration, General Assembly Resolution 55/2 (2000). Amend the title so as to read: `An Act to require the President to develop and implement a comprehensive strategy to further the United States foreign policy objective of promoting the reduction of global poverty, the elimination of extreme global poverty, and the achievement of the Millennium Development Goal of reducing by one-half the proportion of people, between 1990 and 2015, who live on less than $1 per day.'. Calendar No. 718 110th CONGRESS 2d Session S. 2433 [Report No. 110-331] A BILL To require the President to develop and implement a comprehensive strategy to further the United States foreign policy objective of promoting the reduction of global poverty, the elimination of extreme global poverty, and the achievement of the Millennium Development Goal of reducing by one-half the proportion of people worldwide, between 1990 and 2015, who live on less than $1 per day. April 24, 2008 Reported with amendments and an amendment to the title |
How "gay" are they?
As with many words in our American lexicon, they aren't quite what they seem. Back in the day, GAY was a synonym to HAPPY. It was also a woman's name. My sister-in-law's middle name is Gay. I wonder how happy she is that gays have named themselves after her? I think she should start advertising that she is gay; but then she'd offend all those guys that have co-opted her name. Maybe they did that because they wanted to be as cute as she is; they wanted to be Gay, too.
It seems that the gays are very unhappy with the passage of Prop 8 in California. I would suggest that if you're unhappy, then you can no longer describe yourself as "gay". Hey, since you guys aren't "gay" anymore, then do you mind if those of us that are happily involved with the opposite sex take our word back? Gee, thanks!
BEST POEM IN THE WORLD!
I was shocked, confused, bewildered
As I entered Heaven's door,
Not by the beauty of it all,
Nor the lights or its decor.
But it was the folks in Heaven
Who made me sputter and gasp--
The thieves, the liars, the sinners,
The alcoholics and the trash.
There stood the kid from seventh grade
Who swiped my lunch money twice.
Next to him was my old neighbor
Who never said anything nice.
Herb, who I always thought
Was rotting away in hell,
Was sitting pretty on cloud nine,
Looking incredibly well.
I nudged Jesus, 'What's the deal?
I would love to hear Your take.
How'd all these sinners get up here?
God must've made a mistake.
'And why's everyone so quiet,
So somber - give me a clue.'
'Hush, child,' He said, 'they're all in shock.
No one thought they'd be seeing you.'
JUDGE NOT.
Remember...Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian
no more than standing in your garage makes you a car!
Kirby: Open letter to our new president-elect
Dear Mr. President:
Congratulations on your victory at the polls. You are now the leader of the free world whether anybody likes it or not. Frankly, I give you about a week to figure out that you don't.
As a participant in the process that put you in office, I am writing to offer you the benefit of the common man's advice. Men don't come more common than me. Ask my wife.
First, please do not let the victory go to your head. You aren't smart as you think you are. In fact, you aren't even as smart as your supporters claim. We're all going to find that out in the next four years, so there's no point in pretending otherwise.
It doesn't take a genius to be president. I offer as proof any number of dolts we have elected to the country's highest office. So please remember that the trust we've placed in you isn't necessarily a compliment.
The truth is that most Americans could do your job. They could even be good presidents if they remembered to keep things simple. And that's what I'm writing to you about now.
Most Americans know what needs to be done. We learned it growing up, or at least those of us with decent parents did. Presumably, that includes you. Here's what my parents taught me that would also work in the White House.
ENVIRONMENT -- If you make a mess, you have to clean it up. It doesn't matter how long ago you made the mess, or who else helped, you still have to clean it up--even if it takes all day.
FOREIGN POLICY -- You are not the most important person in the world. If you think you are, you need to be taken down a notch or two.
EDUCATION -- Stupidity will always cost more than tuition.
NATIONAL DEFENSE -- Bullies always have to look over their shoulders. Be strong but don't pick on your sisters, or your father will kick your ass when he gets home.
CRIME -- A punishment equal to or worse than the deed is the most effective way of remembering not to do it again.
ECONOMY -- If you want something, go earn the money for it. If you borrow more than you can repay, you deserve to have your thumbs broke.
HEALTH CARE -- Eat right, work hard, don't smoke, brush your teeth, wear your seat belt, and look both ways before crossing the street. If it's not your fault, we'll help you pay to fix it.
There's more, but I think you get the point. Our problems aren't that complicated. Your presidency shouldn't be either.
Best of luck
Robert Kirby
Salt Lake Tribune
Yes, it's all a bunch of baloney!
The real purpose of this blog was to provide myself, and anyone else with as short of an attention span as mine that cares to read this, with a little amusement. And as my good friend, Don Evans, would say -- it was definitely little. It doesn't take much to amuse me; I've never been sure if that's a sign of intelligence or stupidity.
Once upon a time... don't all tall tales start this way? Back before the turn of the century, when I was a young boy scout, I was walking home from school one day. I got to the corner of Studebaker Rd and Excelsior Dr (just to take those of you from Norwalk, CA back in time). The light was red and there was an old lady standing on the corner, waiting to cross the street. She was struggling with 3 bags of groceries. You know, the old brown paper bags weren't as easy to handle as the plastic ones with handles, but I digress...
Anyway, being a good boy scout, I asked if I could help her get across the street with her bags.
She said, "no, thank you", as she struggled to keep from dropping one of them.
I grabbed it just in time to keep it from spilling all over the sidewalk, and into the street. Just then the light turned green, so I just started across the street. I figured I'd help her whether she wanted it or not.
All of a sudden I felt a dull thud on my shoulder. She whacked me with her cane, and was chasing me across the street! Now we were in the middle of the street, and I thought stopping there wouldn't be very smart, so I ran the rest of the way across. She kept swinging her crooked, old cane, and managed to whack me good one more time.
As I handed the sack back to her I apologized, "gee lady, I was just trying to help you with your groceries, I didn't mean to upset you."
"I told you I didn't need your gol-darned help! There's important stuff in that sack."
I apologized again, and ran off towards home. I wanted to put some distance between me and her cane.
As I slowed back down to a walk, I couldn't help but think about what was in the sack. I decided that it must be a bunch of baloney, just like I've been feeding you all this time! LOL
Redistribution Plan May Take A While
Yesterday on my way to lunch at Doe's, I passed one of the homeless guys in that area, with a sign that read 'Vote Obama, I need the money.'
Once in the Doe's my waiter had on a 'Obama 08' tee shirt.
When the bill came, I decided not to tip the waiter and explained to him while he had given me exceptional service, that his tee shirt made me feel he obviously believes in Senator Obama's plan to redistribute the wealth. I told him I was going to redistribute his tip to someone that I deemed more in need--the homeless guy outside. He stood there in disbelief and angrily stormed away.
I went outside, gave the homeless guy $3 and told him to thank the waiter inside, as I had decided he could use the money more. The homeless guy looked at me in disbelief but seemed grateful.
As I got in my truck, I realized this rather unscientific redistribution experiment had left the homeless guy quite happy for the money he did not earn, but the waiter was pretty angry that I gave away the money he did earn.
Well, I guess this redistribution of wealth is going to take a while to catch on, with those doing the work.
CREDIT DEFAULT SWAPS
According to CBS' 60 Minutes, and Warren Buffet, it was the legalization of credit default swaps by the 106th congress, under BILL CLINTON not the policies of George Bush, that has caused the downfall of our financial institutions. I'm surprised that a mainstream, left leaning media outlet like CBS would let this story out BEFORE the election. They may have helped the McCain camp more than they want to, if the public really looks into this.
"Credit default swaps" are also known as "derivatives", which financial experts say are basically "side bets" on what financial markets are going to do. This practice was outlawed after the stock market drop in the early 1900's, and was part of banking and SEC regulations up until the ens of 1999 when Bill Clinton, and Fed Chairman Alan Greenspan, decided that the pros on Wall Street could better handle the policing of these practices. Apparently, they turned a fox loose in the financial hen house.
As is usually the case with presidential campaigns, much is said about what the president wants to do. Unfortunately, most of what is promised, or complained about, is really under the control of the legislature. They are the group that votes on bills and spending that become national policy or law; the president can only sign and approve it, or veto it. The presidential candidates can both promise change, but that change won't come from the president-- it will come from the legislature. The only thing the president can really change on his own is the war, since he's the Commander In Chief. And yes, i'd like to see that changed, but that's another rant for another day.
About Me
- Randyman5775
- Kaysville, Utah, United States
- I feel about as old, dry and crunchy as this fall leaf. Maybe that's why I hate raking them so much -- it's like turning away those that are kindred spirits. That's probably as good of an excuse as any. No matter what the excuse is, it's just an excuse...
